Maybe You Are Just Not Ready to Date

So this seems to be a reoccuring problem on dating sites.... people who are not ready to date, but yet they are on dating sites.  Now mind you, perhaps there are plenty of people that do not realize they are not ready to date yet.  Maybe they are on dating sites with the best of intentions believing they are OK to date, but they just are not.

Some examples of people who are not ready to date:

• People who are about to go into rehab.
• People who need to go to rehab.
• People that are about to go to jail.
• People who just got out of jail.
• People who just went through a bad breakup.
• People who are still obsessed with an ex.
• People who hate everyone because of an ex.
• People that are currently unemployed and looking for work.
• People living with their parents because they have nowhere else to go.

Now I realize the last two examples might anger some people.  They might think just because they are unemployed or live with their parents, they are not undateable.  Sorry.  You need to rethink that situation. 

If you are looking for a job, you need to seriously focus on that.  I know dating sites take up a lot of time.  You know what you could be doing instead?  Applying for jobs!  I realize you might have some free time now that you are unemployed to look for love, but you really need to focus on other priorities.  Instead of paying for dinners, you should be saving your money in case you don't find a job for a while.

If you live with your parents, you need to consider moving out.  If you are living with your parents only because you are out of work, trust me, you have my sympathy.  You are not a bad person at all.  I am sure you are a wonderful person.  However, you need to seriously focus on other issues in your life.

I am in no way saying any of those examples above make you undateable forever.  You need to work on your issues so you have a lot to offer another person.  No one wants to step into your life that is full of problems and drama.  If you do find someone like that, chances are, it is because that person thrives on drama.  Is that really who you want to date?  Probably not.  So just hold off, get your life together, and then look for someone on a dating site.  Trust me, you will find better people to date.

Reading All About "Getting Naked"

I was a big fan of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You" when that was the biggest thing going.  I truly feel like that book changed my life.  I stopped making excuses for people that did not want to be with me.  I accepted it and moved on.  Not only did it help me with men, it helped me with my relationships with others.

Now I keep hearing about a different book called, "Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life."  The book is by Harlan Cohen and I decided I should read it.  I bought it last week and have been reading it for a few days now.

Although I do not find this book as interesting as "He's Just Not That Into You," I feel like this book would be very valuable for certain people.  Some people feel like they just have to be in a relationship at all times.  Other people have really low self-esteem when it comes to dating.  I believe this book would be excellent for those folks.

For me, I am always pretty honest with guys when dating them.  I also firmly believe there are plenty of men out there that would want to date me.  Since these are the things the book teaches you, I don't know that I am getting a lot out of it, but it is still a decent book.  I do feel like the author repeats himself a lot, but I do know that is one way to get your message to sink in.  For some people that have a hard time accepting the points this book is trying to make, it could be a good way of forcing them to face the truth.

If you are not always that honest with those you are dating, perhaps you should read this book.  If you are stuck in a relationship and you are unhappy, you should read this book.  If you haven't had a date since 1983, you should read this book.  It will certainly help a lot of daters out there, so I do recommend, "Getting Naked" for those that need some dating advice.