Tuesday, September 11, 2012

How Much Is Too Much For a Date?

Recently, this topic has come up quite a bit in a number of discussions.  I've talked to friends, as well as a guy I am dating, about the "right price" to spend on a date.  It seems like everyone has their own opinion and there isn't one right answer.

I would like to consider myself a very modern woman and a feminist.  However, I still think some things are traditional for dates.  If a man asks me out, I typically expect him to pay for the date.  If I were to ask a guy out, I would not necessarily expect him to pay, although sometimes men still insist.  After a couple of dates, I am OK shelling out money for dates here and there.  It is fine to go dutch or I am even happy to pay for the whole date depending on the situation.  For the first date, I still think the guy should pay.

With that said, this has become rather a hot topic.  If a man asks you out and you go on the date, how much is too much to spend?  I am purposely really understanding with the matter.  Most guys insist on paying, and if we are going out for coffee, I wait to see if I get a vibe on what I should get.  I went out with a guy once that threw a fit because he wasn't allowed to use a coupon and then he only ordered black coffee for himself.  In that situation, I just went with tea since it seemed like a $1.50 all he was willing to spend.  I also purposely order a relatively cheap meal if a guy takes me out to dinner.  Soup and salad is usually around $10 depending on where you go, and that seems about right. 

Of course, this is just what I do considering this is a terrible economy and it is only a first or second date.  I've had guys insist I order a particular item, such as a crab cake, if I've indicated an interest that particular meal in an earlier conversation.  In that case, if he insists, I will go for it.  However, there are women out there ordering items like crab cakes or steak without a care in the world.  I understand that is supposed to be socially acceptable, but I think it is weird.  I've also heard stories from women that feel like a man should really step it up and take them out to a nice restaurant for a first date.  Really?  I am just happy if my date doesn't want to go to Taco Bell.

So I am basically wondering what is the norm now.  Am I the only one ordering cheap food or going on first dates to get coffee?  Hmmm.  I wonder what is the standard.  I suppose there isn't any.  No wonder some guys are scared to ask a woman out.  He might be spending half his paycheck on a date and who can afford that now?  Bummer.  Maybe I should add "I am happy if you spend less than $10 on the first date," to my profile.  That might just help things.

Still want to read more online dating stuff?  Check out:

How to Fail at Online Dating.... for Men

How to Fail at Online Dating.... for Women

Stuff You Probably Shouldn't Say on a First Date

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