The Absence of the Mutual Friend Hinders Online Dating

I've been thinking a lot about this lately... the absence of the mutual friend and how that hinders online dating to some degree.  Let me explain what I mean.

Back in the day, when I used to meet significant others at school, college, work, or mutual friends, it was easier in some ways.  First of all, there was usually a period of time of being "just friends" without any real expectations.  You could really get to know that person.  Second, there were friends to vouch for that person.  Friends could let you know embarrassing stories and any dirt on that person.  You could trust the person you were dating more because of all the mutual friends the two of you had together.

Most of all, I feel the absence of the mutual friends hinders relationships in a very major way... there is no one around giving advice to either of the two people in the relationship.  Don't get me wrong, I know grown adults should be able to get together and communicate effectly without anyone else's assistance.  Now... back to reality... mutual friends really help in a new relationship.

For example, when two people first start dating, it is sometimes hard to determine how either party feels.  When a mutual friend steps in, one person can express how he or she feels and then that message is relayed to the other party through the mutual friend.  Immature?  Sure, of course.  However, it really helps having the mutual friend "grease the wheels" a little.

Another example is how sometimes people just can't take a hint.  And by "people," I really mean men.  Sometimes I throw out plenty of hints about a nice restaurant I'd like to go to or that flowers would be a nice gift.  Does this get me anywhere?  Of course not.  With a mutual friend, I could tell her and then she would tell the guy, "You idiot!  Just give her some flowers and everything will be fine!"  Sometimes people just need an extra push.  That is why the mutual friend is so helpful.

Of course, one could argue I've gotten better at being blunt and just flat out telling guys what I need.  I've learned in online dating that hints won't get you anywhere.  I suppose on some level it helps communication, but I can't help but wonder how many potential relationships never went anywhere because the couple never had mutual friends.  Some people simply never learn to stop dropping hints and get brutally honest.  It can also be very awkward. Sadly, there are probably many couples that will never be in a serious relationship due to a lack of communication and the absence of the mutual friend. It is sad but true!

For more online dating fun, check out:

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