Fun with Match.com

Since I quit OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, I decided to try an experiment by using Match.com.  Even though the website claims to be free to look, trust me, that is all you can do.  So what happens is people wink at you or email you, and Match won't even let you read their emails.  So basically, I had about a dozen emails piling up in my inbox.

I was rather torn about whether I should pay.  They were basically going to give me a deal so I could get 3 months for $42, which is not that unreasonable.  At the same time, I noticed many of the guys I saw on Match were the same guys that were on Plenty of Fish.  Since Plenty of Fish is free, why bother paying Match? 

In the end, I did actually decide to shell out the bucks to see who had been writing me.  After all, Match does have standards and must approve every photo and every profile.  The scary people that are lurking around on POF simply don't exist on Match.  So I paid.  I would now like to break down for you what I feel are the positives and the negatives of Match compared to the free sites:

POSITIVE ASPECTS:

• Better quality profiles
• A lot less creepy shirtless pics
• A lot less creepy dark mugshot-looking pics
• Most of the guys are interested in a relationship, not just a hookup.
• You can post plenty of photos.
• There is a lot of space to show your interests on your profile.
• Not as many random, terrible, or perverse messages from guys.

NEGATIVE ASPECTS:

• A lot of guys are not willing to pay to use the service, therefore you can never actually talk to them.
• The email system leaves a lot to be desired.  It is harder to use than other sites.
• There are less guys to pick from.
• There really aren't personality tests to help match you with someone.

As far as online dating sites go, Match is pretty decent, but it is not the best I have used.  Considering you have to pay to even communicate with anyone at all, it is probably not as nice as Plenty of Fish or OKCupid.  However, I do receive a lot less attention from creepy men.  If you are easily offended by random perverse messages or want to feel safer, it might just be worth the money!

Real People Deserve to Be Treated Real

I keep seeing this time and time again, and I need to bring it up.  Many different people meet on dating sites all the time.  I understand it is easy to feel you are not a real part of the lives of anyone you meet online.  After all, you don't even know if people are being real on these sites.  It is pretty normal to ignore the emails or messages of others if you are not interested.  People come and people go.

However, what I can't understand is why people treat those they've met in person the same way.  There have been several men I've dated a number of times, spent plenty of quality time with, talked on the phone, etc.  When they get bored or annoyed with me, instead of telling me like a mature adult they've lost interest, they instead just stop talking to me.  OK, that is not normal!

If you've been in someone's life for weeks or months, and been on several or more actual dates, you owe that person a phone call or at least an email stating you are no longer interested.  That is what adults do.  Just because you met online does not mean the relationship isn't "real" in some way.  Maybe you were not too serious with that person, but if you've stayed overnight, especially if it happened a number of times, be an adult.  You can explain that you've moved on, want to see other people, give the "it's not you, it's me" speech, etc.  That is what grown ups do!

I am tired of people having no etiquette whatsoever anymore.  If you have been dating someone, no matter how you met, you owe it to that person to break up with them.  Even if it is only an email... that is a lot better than never calling or talking to that person again.  I know it is hard to do, but that is real life... sometimes we have to do icky things.  It is called being an adult.  If you can't handle it, then don't date.  There are a lot of people out there that need some manners!

Maybe You Are Just Not Ready to Date

So this seems to be a reoccuring problem on dating sites.... people who are not ready to date, but yet they are on dating sites.  Now mind you, perhaps there are plenty of people that do not realize they are not ready to date yet.  Maybe they are on dating sites with the best of intentions believing they are OK to date, but they just are not.

Some examples of people who are not ready to date:

• People who are about to go into rehab.
• People who need to go to rehab.
• People that are about to go to jail.
• People who just got out of jail.
• People who just went through a bad breakup.
• People who are still obsessed with an ex.
• People who hate everyone because of an ex.
• People that are currently unemployed and looking for work.
• People living with their parents because they have nowhere else to go.

Now I realize the last two examples might anger some people.  They might think just because they are unemployed or live with their parents, they are not undateable.  Sorry.  You need to rethink that situation. 

If you are looking for a job, you need to seriously focus on that.  I know dating sites take up a lot of time.  You know what you could be doing instead?  Applying for jobs!  I realize you might have some free time now that you are unemployed to look for love, but you really need to focus on other priorities.  Instead of paying for dinners, you should be saving your money in case you don't find a job for a while.

If you live with your parents, you need to consider moving out.  If you are living with your parents only because you are out of work, trust me, you have my sympathy.  You are not a bad person at all.  I am sure you are a wonderful person.  However, you need to seriously focus on other issues in your life.

I am in no way saying any of those examples above make you undateable forever.  You need to work on your issues so you have a lot to offer another person.  No one wants to step into your life that is full of problems and drama.  If you do find someone like that, chances are, it is because that person thrives on drama.  Is that really who you want to date?  Probably not.  So just hold off, get your life together, and then look for someone on a dating site.  Trust me, you will find better people to date.

Reading All About "Getting Naked"

I was a big fan of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You" when that was the biggest thing going.  I truly feel like that book changed my life.  I stopped making excuses for people that did not want to be with me.  I accepted it and moved on.  Not only did it help me with men, it helped me with my relationships with others.

Now I keep hearing about a different book called, "Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life."  The book is by Harlan Cohen and I decided I should read it.  I bought it last week and have been reading it for a few days now.

Although I do not find this book as interesting as "He's Just Not That Into You," I feel like this book would be very valuable for certain people.  Some people feel like they just have to be in a relationship at all times.  Other people have really low self-esteem when it comes to dating.  I believe this book would be excellent for those folks.

For me, I am always pretty honest with guys when dating them.  I also firmly believe there are plenty of men out there that would want to date me.  Since these are the things the book teaches you, I don't know that I am getting a lot out of it, but it is still a decent book.  I do feel like the author repeats himself a lot, but I do know that is one way to get your message to sink in.  For some people that have a hard time accepting the points this book is trying to make, it could be a good way of forcing them to face the truth.

If you are not always that honest with those you are dating, perhaps you should read this book.  If you are stuck in a relationship and you are unhappy, you should read this book.  If you haven't had a date since 1983, you should read this book.  It will certainly help a lot of daters out there, so I do recommend, "Getting Naked" for those that need some dating advice.

Lots of Weirdness

I totally thought after quitting online dating, some things would go back to normal.  Sure, I was still communicating with guys from dating sites, but I had assumed I had weeded out the weirdest guys.  I am not so sure now though.  I am starting to question whether I should date anyone at all.

I am quite confused about how men date now.  My friends and I have had these conversations.  Men will say they want nothing serious, yet act differently while dating you.  Guys, if you are sincere about "casual dating," then don't ask really personal "getting to know you" kind of questions.  If you are keeping it simple, really keep it simple.  Don't ask about my parents and meeting them, or ask my friend about her son and personal questions.  If you don't want something serious, don't send signs you are getting serious.  It confuses women!

Not to mention, I have had some strange encounters lately.  Everything from creepy guys hitting on me while I am out, random dudes yelling at me while I walk down the street, and some odd dates.  I thought the creepiness would end once I quit the sites.  It turns out, men are always going to be creepy.  I guess I am learning that the hard way. 

Reasons Why I Quit

I am officially not using any dating sites at the present time.  I had shut down OKCupid recently, but I completely snapped this morning and pulled the plug on Plenty of Fish, too.  I just could not take the ridiculousness of the site anymore.

I came to the realization last night that I was going to all new lows as far as online dating goes.  I realized all of sudden that I was communicating with men I would have never given the time of day just a few months ago.  It is always good to explore and expand your horizons, but there is a such thing as hitting rock bottom.  Last night, I determined I was there.

Some of the guys I've been considering dating lately are men I know are completely wrong for me.  I have even been out with some of these guys.  I am talking about men living with their parents and not necessarily even working.  One guy was even living with his mother and out on parole.  Really?  Is there where my dating life is now? 

I realize I had a major setback recently and allowed myself to actually care about someone.  In return, he basically stopped talking to me and has no interest in me any longer.  That is what I get for caring.  I think I was hurt and tried to fill the emptiness with creepy guys that I knew were not my type.  But all of that is over.

As of this morning, no more dating websites for a while.  It will be nice to focus on my blogs and articles again anyway.  Don't worry though... I will still update this blog from time to time since I still have a surplus of wacky stories to share.  Also, some of my friends are still using dating sites, so I am sure I will have their stories to share as well.  The dating wackiness never ends!

How Much Is Too Much For a Date?

Recently, this topic has come up quite a bit in a number of discussions.  I've talked to friends, as well as a guy I am dating, about the "right price" to spend on a date.  It seems like everyone has their own opinion and there isn't one right answer.

I would like to consider myself a very modern woman and a feminist.  However, I still think some things are traditional for dates.  If a man asks me out, I typically expect him to pay for the date.  If I were to ask a guy out, I would not necessarily expect him to pay, although sometimes men still insist.  After a couple of dates, I am OK shelling out money for dates here and there.  It is fine to go dutch or I am even happy to pay for the whole date depending on the situation.  For the first date, I still think the guy should pay.

With that said, this has become rather a hot topic.  If a man asks you out and you go on the date, how much is too much to spend?  I am purposely really understanding with the matter.  Most guys insist on paying, and if we are going out for coffee, I wait to see if I get a vibe on what I should get.  I went out with a guy once that threw a fit because he wasn't allowed to use a coupon and then he only ordered black coffee for himself.  In that situation, I just went with tea since it seemed like a $1.50 all he was willing to spend.  I also purposely order a relatively cheap meal if a guy takes me out to dinner.  Soup and salad is usually around $10 depending on where you go, and that seems about right. 

Of course, this is just what I do considering this is a terrible economy and it is only a first or second date.  I've had guys insist I order a particular item, such as a crab cake, if I've indicated an interest that particular meal in an earlier conversation.  In that case, if he insists, I will go for it.  However, there are women out there ordering items like crab cakes or steak without a care in the world.  I understand that is supposed to be socially acceptable, but I think it is weird.  I've also heard stories from women that feel like a man should really step it up and take them out to a nice restaurant for a first date.  Really?  I am just happy if my date doesn't want to go to Taco Bell.

So I am basically wondering what is the norm now.  Am I the only one ordering cheap food or going on first dates to get coffee?  Hmmm.  I wonder what is the standard.  I suppose there isn't any.  No wonder some guys are scared to ask a woman out.  He might be spending half his paycheck on a date and who can afford that now?  Bummer.  Maybe I should add "I am happy if you spend less than $10 on the first date," to my profile.  That might just help things.

Still want to read more online dating stuff?  Check out:

How to Fail at Online Dating.... for Men

How to Fail at Online Dating.... for Women

Stuff You Probably Shouldn't Say on a First Date

The Absence of the Mutual Friend Hinders Online Dating

I've been thinking a lot about this lately... the absence of the mutual friend and how that hinders online dating to some degree.  Let me explain what I mean.

Back in the day, when I used to meet significant others at school, college, work, or mutual friends, it was easier in some ways.  First of all, there was usually a period of time of being "just friends" without any real expectations.  You could really get to know that person.  Second, there were friends to vouch for that person.  Friends could let you know embarrassing stories and any dirt on that person.  You could trust the person you were dating more because of all the mutual friends the two of you had together.

Most of all, I feel the absence of the mutual friends hinders relationships in a very major way... there is no one around giving advice to either of the two people in the relationship.  Don't get me wrong, I know grown adults should be able to get together and communicate effectly without anyone else's assistance.  Now... back to reality... mutual friends really help in a new relationship.

For example, when two people first start dating, it is sometimes hard to determine how either party feels.  When a mutual friend steps in, one person can express how he or she feels and then that message is relayed to the other party through the mutual friend.  Immature?  Sure, of course.  However, it really helps having the mutual friend "grease the wheels" a little.

Another example is how sometimes people just can't take a hint.  And by "people," I really mean men.  Sometimes I throw out plenty of hints about a nice restaurant I'd like to go to or that flowers would be a nice gift.  Does this get me anywhere?  Of course not.  With a mutual friend, I could tell her and then she would tell the guy, "You idiot!  Just give her some flowers and everything will be fine!"  Sometimes people just need an extra push.  That is why the mutual friend is so helpful.

Of course, one could argue I've gotten better at being blunt and just flat out telling guys what I need.  I've learned in online dating that hints won't get you anywhere.  I suppose on some level it helps communication, but I can't help but wonder how many potential relationships never went anywhere because the couple never had mutual friends.  Some people simply never learn to stop dropping hints and get brutally honest.  It can also be very awkward. Sadly, there are probably many couples that will never be in a serious relationship due to a lack of communication and the absence of the mutual friend. It is sad but true!

For more online dating fun, check out:

Polite Ways to End an Awkward Date

Online Dating: You Can't Argue Your Way Out of Rejection

Online Dating: Your Profile Pic is Creeping Me Out!

I Lost My Nerve

OK, so it didn't happen.  I did not conduct my "experiment" on Friday night.  I just did not have the nerve.  I actually felt guilty.

Sadly, there are some guys on Plenty of Fish that actually take the site seriously.  Even if a woman sends an incredibly ridiculous one-liner to them, they might assume I am serious.  I would just hate to hit on some random guys and not go out with them.

Right now, I am dating 3 guys at the same time.  Yes, 3.  I just could not stand the thought of hitting on more guys and adding a 4th.  I just don't have this kind of free time.  I don't even know what to do with 3 guys.  I am not trying to brag... this is not a normal problem for me.  I am basically dating a few guys to see if either of them stand out.  Maybe this will work out... maybe it won't.  Honestly, it probably won't work out.

So for now, I will go back to not upsetting random, weird guys online.  It just seems like the right thing to do.  Unless, of course, I break it off with all three guys I am dating now.  Then... weird cheesy one-liners here I come!

A Sociological Experiment

Today I was discussing my dismay about online dating sites with co-workers.  One co-worker told me about her ex-husband and how he'd been using dating sites for years.  She even explained how she hacked into his account at one point.  She said he'd been using cheesy one-liners with dozens of women each time he logged in. 

Now, I had been suspicious of men doing this on dating sites.  I can tell when they send me cheesy one-liners.  That wasn't what was interesting.  What was really interesting is what I had long suspected - some guys are approaching dozens of women each night.  I thought this had to be the case since some guys send me the same line 5 times in one week.  I suppose they forget who they've approached, and they just keep casting out the net.

Hearing this information from my co-worker confirmed my suspicion.  Of course, I don't necessarily approve of anyone hacking into an ex's online dating account to obtain this information, but it was helpful nonetheless.  We then discussed whether women could get away with sending out the same cheesy one-liners and if it would actually be more successful for a woman to do this rather than a man.  After all, guys tell me all the time women won't approach them, so a woman's results would probably be different from a man's results.  So that leads me to my sociological experiment.

I am going to do it.  I am going to pick 10 guys from Plenty of Fish on a Friday night and send a cheesy pick-up liner to each one... the SAME pick-up line to each one.  I am going to see if I get any responses and, if so, what type of responses.  I will, of course, post the results on this blog.  I will also use my actual account since I don't mind humiliating myself for the entertainment of readers.

Some of you might think this is unethical, but I don't.  I will purposely approach men I would actually go out with and if they respond, hey great!  If they don't, oh well.  There are plenty of fish in the sea.  Since I am using Plenty of Fish, that makes even more sense.  So let's see where this takes us! 

In case you are wondering what exciting cheesy line I am going use, it will be: "I wish you were a library book because I'd like to check you out."  Oh yeah.  That is awful, but a genuine one-liner this guy was using with the ladies.  Much to my surprise, my co-worker said he even got some positive responses.  So now, I am going to give it a try, too.  Wish me luck!

For more online dating excitement, check out:

Polite Ways to End an Awkward Date

Online Dating: You Can't Argue Your Way Out of Rejection

20 Reasons Dates Are Like Job Interviews

The Walk Out

I recently had a totally new experience occur in my online dating life.  I had a guy actually walk out on me during a date.

Now, I know what everyone is thinking... what did she do?  I swear, I did not do anything.  I know I can sometimes be too opinionated, but this time, I really was on my best behavior.  Furthermore, we had only met 30 minutes before he walked out, so he did not even give me a chance.

Basically, we were sitting there drinking coffee and it was like pulling teeth trying to get a conversation out of him.  He kept texting the whole time, which was super annoying.  All of a sudden, he says he has a call.  He walked away and simply never came back.

I know he could have possibly had an emergency come up, but all he needed to do was pop back around the corner and say, "I am sorry.  I have an emergency."  Even if I really don't believe he had anything come up since he'd been texting the whole time, that is still the polite way to walk out on a date.

If this had happened to me months ago when my dating adventures began, I would have probably stopped online dating altogether.  It would have been a shock and I would have blamed myself.  However, I've had numerous positive dating experiences and I know it wasn't me.  That dude was just a rude creep.

So if any of you reading this have a similar experience, it is not you and don't give up.  However, if you have this happen to you all the time, you might want to consider if it is something you are saying or doing.  There are a lot of creeps out there, but most people aren't that impolite. 

Being Spontaneous Is Not For Me

I keep hearing the word "spontaneous" thrown around a lot on dating sites.  I've tried desperately to become more spontaneous since so many guys seem to want that.  However, I've discovered something important about me - I AM NOT SPONTANEOUS!

I am really tired of guys crawling out of the woodwork and asking me to go on dates at the last minute.  First of all, that is an insult to me.  I have other plans many nights.  I am sick of guys being offended when I say no simply because I have other plans.  Am I not worth asking out at least a day ahead of time?  Obviously some other guys think I am worth it, because 9 times out of 10, I am going out with a guy who has the common courtesy to ask me out at least one day in advance.

Most of all, guys must not understand that women can't just throw on the first t-shirt they find in the closet.  It takes a while to get ready for a date.  I need to shower, fix my hair, apply makeup, put on jewelry, get dressed, do my nails, etc.  If a man wants to date a woman that looks halfway decent, he can't just ask, "Hey, want to meet up in an hour?"  NOOOO!!!!  

Guys, you can't have spontaneous and have a woman that looks attractive all at the same time.  Every now and then, I am already fixed up and ready to go because some other jerk asked me out and stood me up.  In this case, I might be able to meet you last minute.  You can ask just to see if that has happened, but it is not something that happens often.  So basically, in most cases, do you want us to look nice or do you just want some chick that shows up at the bar?  Just let us know.  I can easily meet up with you in my pajamas with no makeup on if you are not picky.  Something tells me you'd be pissed off though.

Don't get me wrong, I am OK with being spontaneous once the date begins.  OK, so we meet up for coffee, but then the guy decides let's go have some ice cream, too.  Sure, that is fine.  But last minute guys, it is an insult to women to think we are just sitting by the computer waiting for your invite.  It never hurts to ask, but don't be pissy when we already have plans.  You see, I have this thing called work and these people in my life called friends and family members.  I do that type of thing, too.  So calm down!  If you wait the last minute and I don't have time, that is on you, not me.  Deal with it!

Is It Time to Give Up?

I will be honest, I consider quitting dating sites at least once a week.  It really shouldn't be this difficult to meet someone halfway decent, but yet it is.

In the past year since I've been using OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, I've met all kinds of guys... perverts, shy guys, annoying guys, and a guy whose been arrested for domestic violence and assault many times.  I've been cussed out for not responding to random email messages fast enough.  I've been told off because I was not willing to drop everything and run out to meet some guy I don't even know for drinks simply because he waited the last minute to ask.  It is rough out there.

I always say the key to online dating success is keeping upbeat about it and not taking it seriously.  You have to laugh at it... and some of it is funny!  However, I am not having fun anymore.  I've been asked out by some new guys this week, so perhaps they will renew my interest in dating again.  For now, I am not in the right frame of mind.  I would rather be single for the rest of my life rather than date some of these weirdos I've been dealing with.

So basically, I am going to see how the next week or two goes.  I am tired of being hurt.  I am tired of being verbally abused.  I am tired of being disappointed.  Guys, if you wonder why there aren't enough decent women on these sites, know this is why - real women that honestly want to date a nice guy are being mistreated by the guys they do date. 

All I am saying is, there are a lot of dudes that need to work on being at least a little nicer.  If you say you are showing up for a date, actually show up.  (Yes, I've been stood up recently.) If you ask me out on a date, offer to pay for my meal, especially if YOU asked me and I only ate soup. (Yes, this has also happened to me recently.) You can at least give me a "heads up" that you have no intention on paying.  If you ask me out and I can't make it because it is such short notice, don't get angry at me.  (Yes, this has happened to me A LOT lately.)

So, my friends, let's see how it goes this week.  I hope to keep blogging about my dating adventures, but we shall see.  A person can only handle so much. 

Online Dating Safety

I would like to talk about a serious subject I think everyone should cover when discussing online dating: safety.  And no, I am not talking about safe sex, although that is important, too.  I am talking about being safe when you date someone you just met off the internet.

First and foremost, I would highly recommend going through a process before ever meeting up with someone.  Personally, I like to talk at least a few days or more online, then talk on the phone a bit, and then meet a guy if I feel comfortable and he has passed the email/phone tests.

When meeting someone for the first time, pick a nice, neutral spot.  Do not meet at either person's home.  That is too much at first and just not safe.  Also, do not pick a secluded spot.  Choose a location with other people because that is safest.  Plus, let someone know you are going out on a date with a new person and tell them to expect a call from you when you return from the date.  If they don't hear from you, they should try to contact you to make sure you are OK.

Another good tip for online dating is to go on a judiciary case search site and look for this new person online.  You will have to get a last name to conduct this search, and you may not have that info until you've at least gone out once.  Once you have the name, you can use your state's free judicial search site.  You will be able see criminal and civil cases.  It can really help prevent you from getting involved with a creep.

Remember to go with your gut instincts, too.  If something seems wrong, don't do it.  If you feel uncomfortable, take yourself out of the situation.  You are an adult and don't let anyone talk you into something you don't feel right about.  It is your life and make sure to be safe about it!

Funniest Autocorrect Typo Ever

When writing to a new potential date, autocorrect can be your worst enemy.  Instead of letting you know you've made a mistake, it will "fix" it for you. This makes for some really awkward conversations.

For instance, I just "met" a new guy named George online recently.  However, I did not think his name was George.  I thought it was Vladimir.  How did this little mistake occur?  He sent me a message saying "I'm vladimir."  Imagine my confusion when he later said his name was George.  I asked him, "Are you Vladimir or George?"  He was then confused.

Now, I am not too judgmental.  I think Vladimir is an unusual name in today's day and age, but I was willing to accept this.  I mean, it was pretty original and certainly interesting.  As it turns out, it was not to be.  I still have not dated or ever known a Vladimir.

It turns out, George was trying to type: "I'm glad."  Instead, he hit a "v" instead of a "g."  Instead of the autocorrect feature thinking "vlad" was "glad," which would be normal, it decided he was Vladimir.  Sigh.  Thank goodness we worked that out.  I am honestly not sure I was ready to date a Vladimir anyway.

Creepy First Dates

I've been on a lot of first dates recently.  The fact that I have not been on a lot of second first dates, says quite a bit about the experiences I've been having.  Some people are just scaring me away right off the bat.  It is not about "not connecting" or "no chemistry."  It is about people being too blunt.

There are some things I just don't need to know unless I am in a relationship with someone.  I don't need to know about crazy exes, or weird embarrassing pimples, or anything else like that.  Let's just have a nice date at a restaurant and talk about food, jobs, and the weather.  Didn't people used to do that?  I understand people might feel comfortable around me, but no.  Even if you start to feel comfortable, stop.  It is still a first date.

Lately, even my friends have been telling me about their crazy dates.  I am talking about men, women, gay, straight... whatever!  Everyone is crazy!  It is a scary dating world out there and the most I can figure out is everyone is nuts.  Just remember, you don't have to let the person you are dating know you are nuts at first.  Just try to be normal for the first few dates, OK?

Some of You Have the Wrong Definition of "Nice"

While combing through the fascinating world of online dating profiles, a common theme I see in guys' profiles is what I would like to call, "the nice guy" syndrome.  You see, many guys claim they are so nice.  Furthermore, some guys outright whine about how nice guys finish last.  Let me tell you something, guys, not all of you are as nice as you claim.

Let's face it, if you are sitting around talking about nice you are, you might not be that nice.  If you were really that nice, you wouldn't need to proclaim it.  Really nice guys are just known as nice guys.  There is no need to advertise it.  Perhaps you think you are a nice guy, but you really aren't.

I've dated some self-proclaimed "nice guys."  You know what?  They weren't that nice.  Nice guys do nice things.  Here are some things guys are doing that are not nice at all, yet they think they are nice...

-Not calling when they say they will.
-Not showing up for dates.
-Not showing up on time for dates.
-Bad mouthing ex-girlfriends.
-Being too pushy or outright mean.

You see, dudes, none of that is NICE!  Some of you guys need to pick up a dictionary and look up the word "nice."  You know that old saying, "nice guys finish last"?  That saying does not apply to many of you.  Some of you guys are total jerks.  Guess what?  Jerks finish last sometimes, too.  Make sure to take that into consideration next time before you claim you are so nice.  For now, just remove "nice" from your profile anyway. Even if you are nice, you don't need to say it.  Act in a nice way, and you'll be fine.

I Don't Want to Read a Script

OK, my online dating buddies out there, let me give you some advice... please don't send someone an email with a standard paragraph about yourself that you have not bothered to customize for the person you are approaching.  Let me explain exactly what I mean by this.

I've had some guys that copy and paste what is obviously their standard email when they message me.  How do I know this?  Because I don't respond to what looks like a standard script sent to every woman online, yet, I don't delete them either.  Literally, some guys approach me once a week with the EXACT same paragraph.  Nothing has changed to let me know the guy actually read my profile at all.  It is actually funny... and sad at the same time.

My advice to you copy and pasters out there would be to STOP copying and pasting, or at least change some details each time.  We actually notice this type of thing.  I am not going respond to anyone that seems desperate and is just copying and pasting text for every female he sees online.  Please at least indicate one small detail like, "Hey, I like your glasses in your 3rd pic," or "I like Kings of Leon, too."  That way, I at least know you took the time to read my profile.

I am bewildered by the fact that this seems like hard work or an impossible mission for some of you online daters.  It takes minutes to type a few sentences.  I just started writing this post about 5 minutes ago, and just look at what I have achieved!  Taking a few extra moments to personalize your message will go a long way.  If you don't have the time to send a personalized message, my guess would be you don't have time to date either.  Give that one a little thought before you send me some boring, standard email 4weeks in a row, dudes!  Thanks!

Angry Dudes, There is a Reason Why You are Single

I am a little tired of the "poor me" trend on dating sites.  I am not sure what is going on with women and their profiles since I am not checking out that end of the dating sites, but I can say for sure men think they are being abused on dating sites.  Too many guys are just sitting around feeling sorry for themselves, posting weird pics, and creeping out women with inappropriate messages.  Of course, none of that is their fault; its the women of the world that have ruined their lives.

I keep seeing more and more guys write on pages, "looking for something real" or "not looking for someone fake."  Well, who is approaching you?  Robots?  What is going on with you?  Real guys approach me all day long on dating sites.  I talk to some and I ignore some.  I don't know why guys are taking these sites so seriously.

First of all, if you reject a guy in anyway now, you have be afraid he is going to send nasty messages to you until you block him.  It is terrible!  Just because I might not want to date a guy doesn't mean I am not "real."  It means I am honest.  If you are a dude that sends threatening or nasty messages to chicks online, I have two words for you: anger management.  Perhaps that is why you can't find a date.  Did you ever think it is not them, it is you?

Second, dating sites should be fun.  Guys with poor attitudes ruin it for the rest of us.  If some of you guys are wondering why there aren't more "quality women" online, perhaps it is because of jerks scaring them off.  No woman wants to receive vulgar messages cursing her or accusing her of things that are not true. 

Most of all, I can't figure out why guys think it is a good idea to be so rude or argue online.  You are not going to win your case.  I am going to block you or even turn you in to the site admins.  If you are a psycho, you shouldn't be dating anyone.  Seek help next time before you threaten a chick online, weirdo guys!  After all, once you insult me, I certainly do not want to go out with you.  How can you think threatening a person is a good idea?  Has being mean ever really made a woman want to date you?

Angry guys of the world, please do us all a favor and stay away from online dating sites.  Get some mental help before you approach anyone again.  Online dating is just like the real world.  Sometimes you get rejected. Life is full of disappointments.  I learned that by first grade.  It is a shame there are guys out there who never learned that lesson.  If a woman tries tells you no, it is nothing personal... it could be for any reason at all.  Calm down and move on to the next woman.  There are plenty of us out there.  Just don't yell at us for no reason!

A Roller Coaster of Online Dating Stupidity

Do you want to know what is weird about online dating?  It really comes in spurts.  For weeks, no one approaches you or just super creepy guys that only post "hey" and nothing more try to talk to you.  Forget about those guys!  It doesn't matter if you keep logging in and keep active on the site, there are no fish biting (that is a Plenty of Fish joke... never mind).  But one day, all of that changes.

One day, you login and 3 guys with potential want to talk to you.  While talking to them, even more guys approach you.  I recently had a week with about 8 - 10 decent guys with great potential asking me out.  Who has that kind of free time?  It was crazy!  I had to pick and choose the best from a great selection. 

Of course, one guy never showed up.  A couple of guys backed out.  One guy just wasn't for me.  Two guys turned out to be OK.  I ended up not being able to keep up with the rest of the guys, so they stopped talking to me.  So now, here I sit, with no new prospects.  No one is new and exciting.  It is just back to creepy guys again.  I am just left with the hope that the two OK guys will decide to go out with me again.

Sigh.  Online dating is not for the faint of heart.  You absolutely can't take it seriously.  If I thought too much about all this stuff, I might go insane.  Well, more insane than I am already, if that is possible. 

Welcome to my blog!

This blog is going to focus on the stupidity of online dating.  For any of you that have tried online dating, you know what I am talking about.  The men that post shirtless pics and mugshot looking photos; the women that say they've gain a few pounds, but that really means 50 pounds instead.  Let's not even talk about those folks that post photos from the 1980s because they haven't been near a camera in decades.

It is a scary world out there, my friends.  There are scary people online.  And they want to date you!  I am here to share the horror stories, the success stories, and mock people along the way.  It is going to be a good time... if you dare!

This blog will mostly focus on the best of the free dating sites: OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, MyYearbook, and possibly, Craigslist (ouch, really scary stuff there!).  However, if you have a story to share about a site you were actually willing to pay to use, like eHarmony, Chemistry, or Match, please feel free to share.  I like to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly, as far as online dating goes.