How Much Is Too Much For a Date?

Recently, this topic has come up quite a bit in a number of discussions.  I've talked to friends, as well as a guy I am dating, about the "right price" to spend on a date.  It seems like everyone has their own opinion and there isn't one right answer.

I would like to consider myself a very modern woman and a feminist.  However, I still think some things are traditional for dates.  If a man asks me out, I typically expect him to pay for the date.  If I were to ask a guy out, I would not necessarily expect him to pay, although sometimes men still insist.  After a couple of dates, I am OK shelling out money for dates here and there.  It is fine to go dutch or I am even happy to pay for the whole date depending on the situation.  For the first date, I still think the guy should pay.

With that said, this has become rather a hot topic.  If a man asks you out and you go on the date, how much is too much to spend?  I am purposely really understanding with the matter.  Most guys insist on paying, and if we are going out for coffee, I wait to see if I get a vibe on what I should get.  I went out with a guy once that threw a fit because he wasn't allowed to use a coupon and then he only ordered black coffee for himself.  In that situation, I just went with tea since it seemed like a $1.50 all he was willing to spend.  I also purposely order a relatively cheap meal if a guy takes me out to dinner.  Soup and salad is usually around $10 depending on where you go, and that seems about right. 

Of course, this is just what I do considering this is a terrible economy and it is only a first or second date.  I've had guys insist I order a particular item, such as a crab cake, if I've indicated an interest that particular meal in an earlier conversation.  In that case, if he insists, I will go for it.  However, there are women out there ordering items like crab cakes or steak without a care in the world.  I understand that is supposed to be socially acceptable, but I think it is weird.  I've also heard stories from women that feel like a man should really step it up and take them out to a nice restaurant for a first date.  Really?  I am just happy if my date doesn't want to go to Taco Bell.

So I am basically wondering what is the norm now.  Am I the only one ordering cheap food or going on first dates to get coffee?  Hmmm.  I wonder what is the standard.  I suppose there isn't any.  No wonder some guys are scared to ask a woman out.  He might be spending half his paycheck on a date and who can afford that now?  Bummer.  Maybe I should add "I am happy if you spend less than $10 on the first date," to my profile.  That might just help things.

Still want to read more online dating stuff?  Check out:

How to Fail at Online Dating.... for Men

How to Fail at Online Dating.... for Women

Stuff You Probably Shouldn't Say on a First Date

Creepy First Dates

I've been on a lot of first dates recently.  The fact that I have not been on a lot of second first dates, says quite a bit about the experiences I've been having.  Some people are just scaring me away right off the bat.  It is not about "not connecting" or "no chemistry."  It is about people being too blunt.

There are some things I just don't need to know unless I am in a relationship with someone.  I don't need to know about crazy exes, or weird embarrassing pimples, or anything else like that.  Let's just have a nice date at a restaurant and talk about food, jobs, and the weather.  Didn't people used to do that?  I understand people might feel comfortable around me, but no.  Even if you start to feel comfortable, stop.  It is still a first date.

Lately, even my friends have been telling me about their crazy dates.  I am talking about men, women, gay, straight... whatever!  Everyone is crazy!  It is a scary dating world out there and the most I can figure out is everyone is nuts.  Just remember, you don't have to let the person you are dating know you are nuts at first.  Just try to be normal for the first few dates, OK?