OK, so it didn't happen. I did not conduct my "experiment" on Friday night. I just did not have the nerve. I actually felt guilty.
Sadly, there are some guys on Plenty of Fish that actually take the site seriously. Even if a woman sends an incredibly ridiculous one-liner to them, they might assume I am serious. I would just hate to hit on some random guys and not go out with them.
Right now, I am dating 3 guys at the same time. Yes, 3. I just could not stand the thought of hitting on more guys and adding a 4th. I just don't have this kind of free time. I don't even know what to do with 3 guys. I am not trying to brag... this is not a normal problem for me. I am basically dating a few guys to see if either of them stand out. Maybe this will work out... maybe it won't. Honestly, it probably won't work out.
So for now, I will go back to not upsetting random, weird guys online. It just seems like the right thing to do. Unless, of course, I break it off with all three guys I am dating now. Then... weird cheesy one-liners here I come!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
A Sociological Experiment
Today I was discussing my dismay about online dating sites with co-workers. One co-worker told me about her ex-husband and how he'd been using dating sites for years. She even explained how she hacked into his account at one point. She said he'd been using cheesy one-liners with dozens of women each time he logged in.
Now, I had been suspicious of men doing this on dating sites. I can tell when they send me cheesy one-liners. That wasn't what was interesting. What was really interesting is what I had long suspected - some guys are approaching dozens of women each night. I thought this had to be the case since some guys send me the same line 5 times in one week. I suppose they forget who they've approached, and they just keep casting out the net.
Hearing this information from my co-worker confirmed my suspicion. Of course, I don't necessarily approve of anyone hacking into an ex's online dating account to obtain this information, but it was helpful nonetheless. We then discussed whether women could get away with sending out the same cheesy one-liners and if it would actually be more successful for a woman to do this rather than a man. After all, guys tell me all the time women won't approach them, so a woman's results would probably be different from a man's results. So that leads me to my sociological experiment.
I am going to do it. I am going to pick 10 guys from Plenty of Fish on a Friday night and send a cheesy pick-up liner to each one... the SAME pick-up line to each one. I am going to see if I get any responses and, if so, what type of responses. I will, of course, post the results on this blog. I will also use my actual account since I don't mind humiliating myself for the entertainment of readers.
Some of you might think this is unethical, but I don't. I will purposely approach men I would actually go out with and if they respond, hey great! If they don't, oh well. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Since I am using Plenty of Fish, that makes even more sense. So let's see where this takes us!
In case you are wondering what exciting cheesy line I am going use, it will be: "I wish you were a library book because I'd like to check you out." Oh yeah. That is awful, but a genuine one-liner this guy was using with the ladies. Much to my surprise, my co-worker said he even got some positive responses. So now, I am going to give it a try, too. Wish me luck!
For more online dating excitement, check out:
Polite Ways to End an Awkward Date
Online Dating: You Can't Argue Your Way Out of Rejection
20 Reasons Dates Are Like Job Interviews
Now, I had been suspicious of men doing this on dating sites. I can tell when they send me cheesy one-liners. That wasn't what was interesting. What was really interesting is what I had long suspected - some guys are approaching dozens of women each night. I thought this had to be the case since some guys send me the same line 5 times in one week. I suppose they forget who they've approached, and they just keep casting out the net.
Hearing this information from my co-worker confirmed my suspicion. Of course, I don't necessarily approve of anyone hacking into an ex's online dating account to obtain this information, but it was helpful nonetheless. We then discussed whether women could get away with sending out the same cheesy one-liners and if it would actually be more successful for a woman to do this rather than a man. After all, guys tell me all the time women won't approach them, so a woman's results would probably be different from a man's results. So that leads me to my sociological experiment.
I am going to do it. I am going to pick 10 guys from Plenty of Fish on a Friday night and send a cheesy pick-up liner to each one... the SAME pick-up line to each one. I am going to see if I get any responses and, if so, what type of responses. I will, of course, post the results on this blog. I will also use my actual account since I don't mind humiliating myself for the entertainment of readers.
Some of you might think this is unethical, but I don't. I will purposely approach men I would actually go out with and if they respond, hey great! If they don't, oh well. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Since I am using Plenty of Fish, that makes even more sense. So let's see where this takes us!
In case you are wondering what exciting cheesy line I am going use, it will be: "I wish you were a library book because I'd like to check you out." Oh yeah. That is awful, but a genuine one-liner this guy was using with the ladies. Much to my surprise, my co-worker said he even got some positive responses. So now, I am going to give it a try, too. Wish me luck!
For more online dating excitement, check out:
Polite Ways to End an Awkward Date
Online Dating: You Can't Argue Your Way Out of Rejection
20 Reasons Dates Are Like Job Interviews
Sunday, August 5, 2012
The Walk Out
I recently had a totally new experience occur in my online dating life. I had a guy actually walk out on me during a date.
Now, I know what everyone is thinking... what did she do? I swear, I did not do anything. I know I can sometimes be too opinionated, but this time, I really was on my best behavior. Furthermore, we had only met 30 minutes before he walked out, so he did not even give me a chance.
Basically, we were sitting there drinking coffee and it was like pulling teeth trying to get a conversation out of him. He kept texting the whole time, which was super annoying. All of a sudden, he says he has a call. He walked away and simply never came back.
I know he could have possibly had an emergency come up, but all he needed to do was pop back around the corner and say, "I am sorry. I have an emergency." Even if I really don't believe he had anything come up since he'd been texting the whole time, that is still the polite way to walk out on a date.
If this had happened to me months ago when my dating adventures began, I would have probably stopped online dating altogether. It would have been a shock and I would have blamed myself. However, I've had numerous positive dating experiences and I know it wasn't me. That dude was just a rude creep.
So if any of you reading this have a similar experience, it is not you and don't give up. However, if you have this happen to you all the time, you might want to consider if it is something you are saying or doing. There are a lot of creeps out there, but most people aren't that impolite.
Now, I know what everyone is thinking... what did she do? I swear, I did not do anything. I know I can sometimes be too opinionated, but this time, I really was on my best behavior. Furthermore, we had only met 30 minutes before he walked out, so he did not even give me a chance.
Basically, we were sitting there drinking coffee and it was like pulling teeth trying to get a conversation out of him. He kept texting the whole time, which was super annoying. All of a sudden, he says he has a call. He walked away and simply never came back.
I know he could have possibly had an emergency come up, but all he needed to do was pop back around the corner and say, "I am sorry. I have an emergency." Even if I really don't believe he had anything come up since he'd been texting the whole time, that is still the polite way to walk out on a date.
If this had happened to me months ago when my dating adventures began, I would have probably stopped online dating altogether. It would have been a shock and I would have blamed myself. However, I've had numerous positive dating experiences and I know it wasn't me. That dude was just a rude creep.
So if any of you reading this have a similar experience, it is not you and don't give up. However, if you have this happen to you all the time, you might want to consider if it is something you are saying or doing. There are a lot of creeps out there, but most people aren't that impolite.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Being Spontaneous Is Not For Me
I keep hearing the word "spontaneous" thrown around a lot on dating sites. I've tried desperately to become more spontaneous since so many guys seem to want that. However, I've discovered something important about me - I AM NOT SPONTANEOUS!
I am really tired of guys crawling out of the woodwork and asking me to go on dates at the last minute. First of all, that is an insult to me. I have other plans many nights. I am sick of guys being offended when I say no simply because I have other plans. Am I not worth asking out at least a day ahead of time? Obviously some other guys think I am worth it, because 9 times out of 10, I am going out with a guy who has the common courtesy to ask me out at least one day in advance.
Most of all, guys must not understand that women can't just throw on the first t-shirt they find in the closet. It takes a while to get ready for a date. I need to shower, fix my hair, apply makeup, put on jewelry, get dressed, do my nails, etc. If a man wants to date a woman that looks halfway decent, he can't just ask, "Hey, want to meet up in an hour?" NOOOO!!!!
Guys, you can't have spontaneous and have a woman that looks attractive all at the same time. Every now and then, I am already fixed up and ready to go because some other jerk asked me out and stood me up. In this case, I might be able to meet you last minute. You can ask just to see if that has happened, but it is not something that happens often. So basically, in most cases, do you want us to look nice or do you just want some chick that shows up at the bar? Just let us know. I can easily meet up with you in my pajamas with no makeup on if you are not picky. Something tells me you'd be pissed off though.
Don't get me wrong, I am OK with being spontaneous once the date begins. OK, so we meet up for coffee, but then the guy decides let's go have some ice cream, too. Sure, that is fine. But last minute guys, it is an insult to women to think we are just sitting by the computer waiting for your invite. It never hurts to ask, but don't be pissy when we already have plans. You see, I have this thing called work and these people in my life called friends and family members. I do that type of thing, too. So calm down! If you wait the last minute and I don't have time, that is on you, not me. Deal with it!
I am really tired of guys crawling out of the woodwork and asking me to go on dates at the last minute. First of all, that is an insult to me. I have other plans many nights. I am sick of guys being offended when I say no simply because I have other plans. Am I not worth asking out at least a day ahead of time? Obviously some other guys think I am worth it, because 9 times out of 10, I am going out with a guy who has the common courtesy to ask me out at least one day in advance.
Most of all, guys must not understand that women can't just throw on the first t-shirt they find in the closet. It takes a while to get ready for a date. I need to shower, fix my hair, apply makeup, put on jewelry, get dressed, do my nails, etc. If a man wants to date a woman that looks halfway decent, he can't just ask, "Hey, want to meet up in an hour?" NOOOO!!!!
Guys, you can't have spontaneous and have a woman that looks attractive all at the same time. Every now and then, I am already fixed up and ready to go because some other jerk asked me out and stood me up. In this case, I might be able to meet you last minute. You can ask just to see if that has happened, but it is not something that happens often. So basically, in most cases, do you want us to look nice or do you just want some chick that shows up at the bar? Just let us know. I can easily meet up with you in my pajamas with no makeup on if you are not picky. Something tells me you'd be pissed off though.
Don't get me wrong, I am OK with being spontaneous once the date begins. OK, so we meet up for coffee, but then the guy decides let's go have some ice cream, too. Sure, that is fine. But last minute guys, it is an insult to women to think we are just sitting by the computer waiting for your invite. It never hurts to ask, but don't be pissy when we already have plans. You see, I have this thing called work and these people in my life called friends and family members. I do that type of thing, too. So calm down! If you wait the last minute and I don't have time, that is on you, not me. Deal with it!
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