Is It Time to Give Up?

I will be honest, I consider quitting dating sites at least once a week.  It really shouldn't be this difficult to meet someone halfway decent, but yet it is.

In the past year since I've been using OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, I've met all kinds of guys... perverts, shy guys, annoying guys, and a guy whose been arrested for domestic violence and assault many times.  I've been cussed out for not responding to random email messages fast enough.  I've been told off because I was not willing to drop everything and run out to meet some guy I don't even know for drinks simply because he waited the last minute to ask.  It is rough out there.

I always say the key to online dating success is keeping upbeat about it and not taking it seriously.  You have to laugh at it... and some of it is funny!  However, I am not having fun anymore.  I've been asked out by some new guys this week, so perhaps they will renew my interest in dating again.  For now, I am not in the right frame of mind.  I would rather be single for the rest of my life rather than date some of these weirdos I've been dealing with.

So basically, I am going to see how the next week or two goes.  I am tired of being hurt.  I am tired of being verbally abused.  I am tired of being disappointed.  Guys, if you wonder why there aren't enough decent women on these sites, know this is why - real women that honestly want to date a nice guy are being mistreated by the guys they do date. 

All I am saying is, there are a lot of dudes that need to work on being at least a little nicer.  If you say you are showing up for a date, actually show up.  (Yes, I've been stood up recently.) If you ask me out on a date, offer to pay for my meal, especially if YOU asked me and I only ate soup. (Yes, this has also happened to me recently.) You can at least give me a "heads up" that you have no intention on paying.  If you ask me out and I can't make it because it is such short notice, don't get angry at me.  (Yes, this has happened to me A LOT lately.)

So, my friends, let's see how it goes this week.  I hope to keep blogging about my dating adventures, but we shall see.  A person can only handle so much. 

Online Dating Safety

I would like to talk about a serious subject I think everyone should cover when discussing online dating: safety.  And no, I am not talking about safe sex, although that is important, too.  I am talking about being safe when you date someone you just met off the internet.

First and foremost, I would highly recommend going through a process before ever meeting up with someone.  Personally, I like to talk at least a few days or more online, then talk on the phone a bit, and then meet a guy if I feel comfortable and he has passed the email/phone tests.

When meeting someone for the first time, pick a nice, neutral spot.  Do not meet at either person's home.  That is too much at first and just not safe.  Also, do not pick a secluded spot.  Choose a location with other people because that is safest.  Plus, let someone know you are going out on a date with a new person and tell them to expect a call from you when you return from the date.  If they don't hear from you, they should try to contact you to make sure you are OK.

Another good tip for online dating is to go on a judiciary case search site and look for this new person online.  You will have to get a last name to conduct this search, and you may not have that info until you've at least gone out once.  Once you have the name, you can use your state's free judicial search site.  You will be able see criminal and civil cases.  It can really help prevent you from getting involved with a creep.

Remember to go with your gut instincts, too.  If something seems wrong, don't do it.  If you feel uncomfortable, take yourself out of the situation.  You are an adult and don't let anyone talk you into something you don't feel right about.  It is your life and make sure to be safe about it!

Funniest Autocorrect Typo Ever

When writing to a new potential date, autocorrect can be your worst enemy.  Instead of letting you know you've made a mistake, it will "fix" it for you. This makes for some really awkward conversations.

For instance, I just "met" a new guy named George online recently.  However, I did not think his name was George.  I thought it was Vladimir.  How did this little mistake occur?  He sent me a message saying "I'm vladimir."  Imagine my confusion when he later said his name was George.  I asked him, "Are you Vladimir or George?"  He was then confused.

Now, I am not too judgmental.  I think Vladimir is an unusual name in today's day and age, but I was willing to accept this.  I mean, it was pretty original and certainly interesting.  As it turns out, it was not to be.  I still have not dated or ever known a Vladimir.

It turns out, George was trying to type: "I'm glad."  Instead, he hit a "v" instead of a "g."  Instead of the autocorrect feature thinking "vlad" was "glad," which would be normal, it decided he was Vladimir.  Sigh.  Thank goodness we worked that out.  I am honestly not sure I was ready to date a Vladimir anyway.

Creepy First Dates

I've been on a lot of first dates recently.  The fact that I have not been on a lot of second first dates, says quite a bit about the experiences I've been having.  Some people are just scaring me away right off the bat.  It is not about "not connecting" or "no chemistry."  It is about people being too blunt.

There are some things I just don't need to know unless I am in a relationship with someone.  I don't need to know about crazy exes, or weird embarrassing pimples, or anything else like that.  Let's just have a nice date at a restaurant and talk about food, jobs, and the weather.  Didn't people used to do that?  I understand people might feel comfortable around me, but no.  Even if you start to feel comfortable, stop.  It is still a first date.

Lately, even my friends have been telling me about their crazy dates.  I am talking about men, women, gay, straight... whatever!  Everyone is crazy!  It is a scary dating world out there and the most I can figure out is everyone is nuts.  Just remember, you don't have to let the person you are dating know you are nuts at first.  Just try to be normal for the first few dates, OK?

Some of You Have the Wrong Definition of "Nice"

While combing through the fascinating world of online dating profiles, a common theme I see in guys' profiles is what I would like to call, "the nice guy" syndrome.  You see, many guys claim they are so nice.  Furthermore, some guys outright whine about how nice guys finish last.  Let me tell you something, guys, not all of you are as nice as you claim.

Let's face it, if you are sitting around talking about nice you are, you might not be that nice.  If you were really that nice, you wouldn't need to proclaim it.  Really nice guys are just known as nice guys.  There is no need to advertise it.  Perhaps you think you are a nice guy, but you really aren't.

I've dated some self-proclaimed "nice guys."  You know what?  They weren't that nice.  Nice guys do nice things.  Here are some things guys are doing that are not nice at all, yet they think they are nice...

-Not calling when they say they will.
-Not showing up for dates.
-Not showing up on time for dates.
-Bad mouthing ex-girlfriends.
-Being too pushy or outright mean.

You see, dudes, none of that is NICE!  Some of you guys need to pick up a dictionary and look up the word "nice."  You know that old saying, "nice guys finish last"?  That saying does not apply to many of you.  Some of you guys are total jerks.  Guess what?  Jerks finish last sometimes, too.  Make sure to take that into consideration next time before you claim you are so nice.  For now, just remove "nice" from your profile anyway. Even if you are nice, you don't need to say it.  Act in a nice way, and you'll be fine.