I am officially not using any dating sites at the present time. I had shut down OKCupid recently, but I completely snapped this morning and pulled the plug on Plenty of Fish, too. I just could not take the ridiculousness of the site anymore.
I came to the realization last night that I was going to all new lows as far as online dating goes. I realized all of sudden that I was communicating with men I would have never given the time of day just a few months ago. It is always good to explore and expand your horizons, but there is a such thing as hitting rock bottom. Last night, I determined I was there.
Some of the guys I've been considering dating lately are men I know are completely wrong for me. I have even been out with some of these guys. I am talking about men living with their parents and not necessarily even working. One guy was even living with his mother and out on parole. Really? Is there where my dating life is now?
I realize I had a major setback recently and allowed myself to actually care about someone. In return, he basically stopped talking to me and has no interest in me any longer. That is what I get for caring. I think I was hurt and tried to fill the emptiness with creepy guys that I knew were not my type. But all of that is over.
As of this morning, no more dating websites for a while. It will be nice to focus on my blogs and articles again anyway. Don't worry though... I will still update this blog from time to time since I still have a surplus of wacky stories to share. Also, some of my friends are still using dating sites, so I am sure I will have their stories to share as well. The dating wackiness never ends!
Showing posts with label dating issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating issues. Show all posts
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
The Absence of the Mutual Friend Hinders Online Dating
I've been thinking a lot about this lately... the absence of the mutual friend and how that hinders online dating to some degree. Let me explain what I mean.
Back in the day, when I used to meet significant others at school, college, work, or mutual friends, it was easier in some ways. First of all, there was usually a period of time of being "just friends" without any real expectations. You could really get to know that person. Second, there were friends to vouch for that person. Friends could let you know embarrassing stories and any dirt on that person. You could trust the person you were dating more because of all the mutual friends the two of you had together.
Most of all, I feel the absence of the mutual friends hinders relationships in a very major way... there is no one around giving advice to either of the two people in the relationship. Don't get me wrong, I know grown adults should be able to get together and communicate effectly without anyone else's assistance. Now... back to reality... mutual friends really help in a new relationship.
For example, when two people first start dating, it is sometimes hard to determine how either party feels. When a mutual friend steps in, one person can express how he or she feels and then that message is relayed to the other party through the mutual friend. Immature? Sure, of course. However, it really helps having the mutual friend "grease the wheels" a little.
Another example is how sometimes people just can't take a hint. And by "people," I really mean men. Sometimes I throw out plenty of hints about a nice restaurant I'd like to go to or that flowers would be a nice gift. Does this get me anywhere? Of course not. With a mutual friend, I could tell her and then she would tell the guy, "You idiot! Just give her some flowers and everything will be fine!" Sometimes people just need an extra push. That is why the mutual friend is so helpful.
Of course, one could argue I've gotten better at being blunt and just flat out telling guys what I need. I've learned in online dating that hints won't get you anywhere. I suppose on some level it helps communication, but I can't help but wonder how many potential relationships never went anywhere because the couple never had mutual friends. Some people simply never learn to stop dropping hints and get brutally honest. It can also be very awkward. Sadly, there are probably many couples that will never be in a serious relationship due to a lack of communication and the absence of the mutual friend. It is sad but true!
For more online dating fun, check out:
Polite Ways to End an Awkward Date
Online Dating: You Can't Argue Your Way Out of Rejection
Online Dating: Your Profile Pic is Creeping Me Out!
Back in the day, when I used to meet significant others at school, college, work, or mutual friends, it was easier in some ways. First of all, there was usually a period of time of being "just friends" without any real expectations. You could really get to know that person. Second, there were friends to vouch for that person. Friends could let you know embarrassing stories and any dirt on that person. You could trust the person you were dating more because of all the mutual friends the two of you had together.
Most of all, I feel the absence of the mutual friends hinders relationships in a very major way... there is no one around giving advice to either of the two people in the relationship. Don't get me wrong, I know grown adults should be able to get together and communicate effectly without anyone else's assistance. Now... back to reality... mutual friends really help in a new relationship.
For example, when two people first start dating, it is sometimes hard to determine how either party feels. When a mutual friend steps in, one person can express how he or she feels and then that message is relayed to the other party through the mutual friend. Immature? Sure, of course. However, it really helps having the mutual friend "grease the wheels" a little.
Another example is how sometimes people just can't take a hint. And by "people," I really mean men. Sometimes I throw out plenty of hints about a nice restaurant I'd like to go to or that flowers would be a nice gift. Does this get me anywhere? Of course not. With a mutual friend, I could tell her and then she would tell the guy, "You idiot! Just give her some flowers and everything will be fine!" Sometimes people just need an extra push. That is why the mutual friend is so helpful.
Of course, one could argue I've gotten better at being blunt and just flat out telling guys what I need. I've learned in online dating that hints won't get you anywhere. I suppose on some level it helps communication, but I can't help but wonder how many potential relationships never went anywhere because the couple never had mutual friends. Some people simply never learn to stop dropping hints and get brutally honest. It can also be very awkward. Sadly, there are probably many couples that will never be in a serious relationship due to a lack of communication and the absence of the mutual friend. It is sad but true!
For more online dating fun, check out:
Polite Ways to End an Awkward Date
Online Dating: You Can't Argue Your Way Out of Rejection
Online Dating: Your Profile Pic is Creeping Me Out!
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